You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
