i just wanna soil my oats bro
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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