Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
