Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
