okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
