OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
