I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize