We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
