no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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