Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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