if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
