I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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