I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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