Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
