I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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