ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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