I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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