Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
