That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
