The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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