He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
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It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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