Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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