Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize