To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
