how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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