I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
