I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
