I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize