what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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