friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Holy shit dude........stairs
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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