I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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