Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
