Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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