I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
