Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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