I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wish there were birth control emojis
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
