Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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