I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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