I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
