Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the day after is always just damage control
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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