I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
