Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My cat gives me a boner
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Randomize
