Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Found your dick twin last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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