The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
