I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
