Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
