she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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