I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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