Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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