Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
cat food counts as protein by the way
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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