Pappa wants mamma naked
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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