I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
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I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
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I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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