I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
