yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
