btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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