I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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